SSNN posts for the weeks of June 24th through July 8th
I’m going to start posting a few links to my SSNN posts for the previous link, so you all can see what we’ve got going on over there and hopefully enjoy a couple of those stories.
CC Sabathia confused by new nickname
MILWAUKEE — CC Sabathia had an unusual request of reporters in Milwaukee upon arriving with the team Tuesday – no more periods. “I’ve just decided to go with CC, without periods,” [continue reading…]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets
MILWAUKEE, WI — When the Brewers traded for C.C. Sabathia yesterday, there was a lot of debate as to whether the incoming “ace” would replace the current “ace” of the [continue reading…]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
SSNN forced to pull A-Rod story when it actually becomes true
CHICAGO, IL — The Serious Sports News Network is reeling today after an ironic twist of events which resulted in a scheduled story for the satire site being pulled from [continue reading…]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Cynthia Rodriguez seeking half in divorce filing
MIAMI, FL — Citing irreconcilable differences, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, seeking half of her husband’s money and assets, including at least half [continue reading…]
Posted on July 7th, 2008
Francouer’s arrival to AA Mississippi delayed for two days by holiday beach traffic
GREENVILLE, MS — The Mississippi Braves were excited to hear that they’d soon be getting an infusion of big league pop in their order, when struggling Atlanta Braves outfielder Jeff [continue reading…]
Posted on July 6th, 2008
David Stern stunned to learn the Sonics are moving to Oklahoma City
NEW YORK, NY — Everything was going fine for NBA commissioner David Stern on Sunday morning, until a weird turn of the internet ruined his day. “I was just scrolling through [continue reading…]
Posted on July 6th, 2008
Nadal proposes that Wimbledon final renamed, played in a better location
WIMBLEDON — SSNN has learned that Rafael Nadal has made an unusual request on the eve of his Wimbledon finals date with Roger Federer. According to sources, Nadal has requested [continue reading…]
Posted on July 5th, 2008
Randy Moss wants his NASCAR team to increase “rims” budget
FOXBORO, MA — Randy Moss, NASCAR’s newest owner after purchasing a 50 percent share in Morgan-Dollar Motorsports, is off to a rocky start with his new business partners after some [continue reading…]
Posted on July 4th, 2008
Venus and Serena Williams inspirational for six-foot tall African-American multi-millionaire women everywhere
WIMBLEDON — As Venus and Serena Williams advanced to the finals of Wimbledon’s womens singles to play each other for the third time, Candace Parker took note. “Venus and Serena are [continue reading…]
Posted on July 4th, 2008
Spanish fans vow to “try harder” after killing only one during victory celebration
MADRID–Distraught Spanish soccer fans vowed to try harder next time after only ending one person’s life [continue reading…]
Posted on July 3rd, 2008
“Devastated” Jair Jurrjens reacts to trade by ruthless fantasy owner
ATLANTA, GA–A “heartbroken and disgusted” Jair Jurrjens arrived at the ballpark Wednesday after disovering late Tuesday night that he’d been traded away by rapacious fantasy baseball owner John Tain. Tain, the [continue reading…]
Posted on July 2nd, 2008
Jay-Z knocks out Vitale
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Dick Vitale is recovering today after having his jaw wired shut overnight, a byproduct of being punched in the face by Jay-Z following the NBA [continue reading…]
Posted on June 27th, 2008
Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a dramatic and ironic twist, one of the few people in the world who actually knows how Shaquille O’Neal’s ass tastes has been paid not [continue reading…]
Posted on June 25th, 2008
Bradley dotting I’s with hearts in attempt to soften image
ARLINGTON, TX — Still plagued by many of the image problems that have handcuffed his career, Milton Bradley has taken a drastic new course. According to recent reports from Texas, Bradley [continue reading…]
Posted on June 24th, 2008
Tags: , A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez, Atlanta Braves, Ben Sheets, C.C. Sabathia, Cynthia Rodriguez, David Stern, Dick Vitale, divorce, Jair Jurrjens, Jay-Z, Jeff Francouer, Kobe Bryant, Madonna, Milton Bradley, Milwaukee Brewers, NASCAR, New York Yankees, Oklahoma City SuperSonics, Rafael Nadal, Randy Moss, Roger Federer, Seattle SuperSonics, Serena Williams, Shaquille O'Neal, Spain, Texas Rangers, Venus Williams, Wimbledon